Don’t Let Your Emotions Control You

Emotional regulation enables you to make sure that you don’t let your emotions control you. While we all experience a wide range of emotions every day—from happiness and joy to anxiety and anger—our emotions can be intense and overwhelming. Sometimes this can lead to emotional meltdowns. 

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Emotional regulation is the process of managing and controlling our emotions, allowing us to respond in a more positive and appropriate way. 

It’s the ability to manage and control emotions, thoughts, and behavior in response to internal and external stimuli. It’s a skill that can help you cope with stress, build healthier relationships, and improve your overall well-being. 

To be able to regulate your emotions you have to understand your emotions, identify triggers, and implement strategies to manage your response.

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Benefits of Emotional Regulation Skills

Emotional regulation skills can have a significant impact on your life. Mastering emotional regulation skills will enable you to better navigate the waves of emotions you encounter every day. You’ll have an edge over challenges that used to seem impossible and you’ll be better equipped to handle the unexpected that happens in life.

Managing your emotions can help improve your problem-solving skills. Your mind will be clearer and you’ll be able to make thoughtful decisions instead of impulsive ones that you might later regret. 

Emotional regulation will also help you navigate tense situations easier because you’ll be less likely to have a meltdown. 

And finally, having control over your emotions will spill over into your focus and productivity. Your emotions won’t derail progress you’re making.

Common Triggers of Emotional Meltdowns

Emotional meltdowns can be triggered by a variety of factors, including stress, anxiety, fear, and anger. These triggers can be internal or external, and they can be different for each individual. Some common triggers of emotional meltdowns include relationship issues, financial problems, work-related stress, and health concerns.

For neurodivergent people, sensory overload can be a cause of a meltdown. Bright lights, loud noises or crowded spaces can all contribute to sensory overload. Another trigger can be an unexpected change in plans. Often, someone who is neurodivergent counts on routines and plans to make sense of the world around them and when something disrupts that, it can cause a meltdown.

Finally, social situations can also trigger emotional overload because neurodivergent people sometimes have a hard time navigating these situations. They can feel anxious, misunderstood, or invalidated by others, which can intensify the already anxious feelings.

Techniques for Emotion Regulation

There are several techniques that can help you regulate your emotions and manage emotional meltdowns. One effective technique is deep breathing, which involves taking slow, deep breaths to calm your body and mind. Another technique is mindfulness, which involves being present in the moment and focusing on your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Progressive muscle relaxation is another technique that involves tensing and relaxing specific muscle groups to reduce tension and stress.

• Deep Breathing: Take slow, deep breaths to calm the nervous system and reduce stress.
• Mindfulness Meditation: Practice staying present and non-judgmental to observe emotions without getting carried away.
• Emotion Journaling: Write about your feelings, triggers, and coping strategies to gain insight into your emotions.
• Grounding Exercises: Engage your senses to stay anchored in the present moment during emotional distress.
• Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Tense and relax muscle groups to release physical tension associated with emotions.
• Positive Affirmations: Use uplifting statements to challenge negative thoughts and boost emotional well-being.
• Emotion Naming: Identify and label your emotions to better understand and process them.

Activities for Emotional Regulation

In addition to the mindful, relaxing techniques mentioned above, there are other activities that can help you regulate your emotions and manage emotional meltdowns. 

Physical exercise

Physical exercise, such as running or yoga, can also help you reduce stress and improve your mood. Dancing or taking a walk in nature will give you the same effects.  

Creativity

Creative expression, such as painting or writing, can help you express your emotions in a healthy way. If you don’t feel like you’re much of an artist, check out some adult coloring books. Or try cooking or baking—they also tap into some creativity.

Brain games

Try playing a game. If you have others around, play a board game. If you’re alone (or prefer to be at the moment), put together a puzzle or do some written puzzles like crosswords or Sudoku.

Tips for Practicing Self-Regulation

Practicing self-regulation can be challenging, but there are several tips that can help you improve your skills. Self-awareness is key, as it allows you to identify your triggers and develop strategies to manage them. Self-validation is also important, as it helps you acknowledge and accept your emotions without judgment. 

Here are some additional tips to enhance your emotional self-regulation:

Pause and Reflect 

When faced with intense emotions, take a moment to pause before reacting. Reflect on what you're feeling and why, allowing yourself space to respond thoughtfully.

Create a Safe Space

Designate a physical or mental safe space where you can retreat when emotions are running high. This sanctuary can provide a calming environment to regroup and regain composure.

Limit Exposure to Triggers

When possible, minimize exposure to situations or people that consistently trigger intense emotions. Boundaries can be essential for emotional well-being.

Establish a Routine 

Establishing a daily routine can bring a sense of structure and stability to your life, which can positively influence emotional regulation.

Use Visual Cues

Create visual reminders, such as affirmations or calming images, to place in your living or working space. These cues can serve as gentle prompts to practice self-regulation throughout the day.

Developing self-regulation skills is a gradual process, and it's okay to have setbacks. Be patient with yourself and celebrate each step you take towards improved emotional regulation. 

Resources for Learning How to Regulate Your Emotions

There are many resources available to help you learn how to regulate your emotions. Obviously, you can seek professional help with a therapist. But if you’re still looking to expand your knowledge on your own, here are some ideas:

Apps

Check out apps like Headspace or Calm – these are usually seen as meditation apps, but they are calming and can help with emotional regulation.

Online groups

Look for communities online for people working on the same skills and struggling with similar issues. Facebook has groups for pretty much everything (and you can use a profile to join groups and never have to have or accept “friends”)

YouTube or Podcasts

Podcasts, such as “The Hardcore Self Help Podcast” by Dr. Robert Duff, can also provide you with helpful tips and advice. Another mental health-focused  podcast is “The Savvy Psychologist’s Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Mental Health.” 

YouTube channels like “Psych2Go” and “The School of Life” present animated, engaging content for understanding and managing emotions. You can also search for educational videos and TED talks on YouTube.

Emotional regulation is an important skill that can help you manage your emotions and respond to stressful situations in a more positive and appropriate way. By understanding your emotions, identifying triggers, and implementing strategies for emotional regulation, you can improve your overall well-being and build healthier relationships.