Trusting Yourself in Decision-Making (Even when Everything Feels Overwhelming)

Decision-making can feel downright paralyzing when you’re hit with too many options. For neurodivergent women, this can be even more overwhelming—your mind races, doubts creep in, and suddenly, every choice feels huge.

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But here’s the thing: trusting yourself isn’t about always making the perfect decision. It’s about learning to quiet the noise, listen to your instincts, and move forward with confidence.

Understanding Self-Trust

When you're trying to make a decision—especially one that feels overwhelming—it’s easy to fall into a spiral of second-guessing yourself. You think about every possibility, every outcome, and suddenly it feels like you're juggling too many choices without a safety net.

Trusting yourself isn’t about knowing all the answers. It’s about feeling steady even when the path ahead is unclear. To get there, you’ve got to understand what self-trust really means and how your unique mind works in decision-making.

What is Self-Trust?

Self-trust is your ability to rely on your own judgment, feelings, and instincts. It’s not the same as self-confidence, though the two are often confused. Think of self-confidence as believing in your ability to succeed in a task: giving a great presentation, learning a skill, or nailing an interview. Self-trust, on the other hand, runs deeper. It’s believing that no matter what happens, you’ll show up for yourself and handle whatever unfolds.

Psychologically, self-trust is linked to emotional resilience. It’s that quiet voice inside reminding you that it’s okay to make mistakes and that you can figure things out even when things go off course. It’s also about tuning out external noise—other people’s opinions, societal expectations—and listening to what feels right for you.

Here’s a good way to think about it: self-confidence says, “I can do this.” Self-trust says, “Even if I mess up, it’ll be okay.” Notice the difference? Confidence comes and goes depending on the situation, but self-trust is like your internal compass.

Many of you struggle with that internal compass because that external noise has been berating you your whole life. You might have confidence in your ability to do something, but your internal voice is not supportive.

The Impact of Neurodivergence on Decision-Making

For neurodivergent women, trusting yourself in decision-making can feel like climbing a mountain in the fog: the terrain is rough, visibility is low, and you’re not sure if you’re on the right path. Traits like ADHD, autism, or anxiety can amplify decision fatigue or make it harder to filter through options. But at the same time, those same traits can bring strengths to the table, offering perspectives that others might overlook.

Here are a couple of ways neurodivergence can affect decision-making:

• Overthinking overload: Do you ever feel stuck replaying every “what if” scenario in your head? This can happen when your mind processes every detail and outcome all at once, making even small decisions feel overwhelming. Neurodivergent brains often pick up on patterns or possibilities others don’t notice, which is a strength—but also a challenge when it leads to overanalyzing.

• Difficulty with prioritization: Executive functioning challenges can make it hard to figure out what’s most important. When every option feels equally urgent or appealing, deciding can feel impossible. You might find yourself frozen, fearing the “wrong” choice.

But here’s the flip side: neurodivergence also comes with incredible decision-making superpowers. For one, you might notice connections others don’t. Your ability to think creatively and critically can lead to outside-the-box solutions. You might also be more in tune with your emotions, which can guide you toward choices that genuinely align with your values.

Rather than seeing neurodivergent traits as roadblocks, consider how they can shape your decision-making in unique ways. The key is learning how to navigate both the challenges and strengths of your mind to build self-trust.

Techniques to Build Self-Trust

When you're feeling uncertain, trusting yourself can feel like navigating a maze without a map. Self-trust isn’t something you're born with. It’s a skill you build and strengthen over time. Because of this, you need some strategies to build your self-trust.

Mindfulness and Intuition

Have you ever had a gut feeling about something, only to dismiss it and end up regretting it? That’s your intuition speaking, and mindfulness can help you hear it more clearly. By practicing mindfulness, you create space to notice your thoughts and emotions without judgment. This clarity allows you to connect with your instincts on a deeper level.

Mindfulness doesn’t have to mean sitting cross-legged on a mat for hours. Small, simple practices can make a big difference:

• Pause before deciding. When you’re faced with a choice, take a moment to breathe deeply. This gives your brain space to settle and helps you notice what your instincts are saying.
• Check in with your body. Sometimes, your feelings show up physically—a racing heart, a tight chest, or a calm sense of ease. Pay attention to these signals, as they often guide you more effectively than overthinking ever could.
• Journal your thoughts. Writing things down can help untangle the noise in your head. It’s like having a conversation with yourself—one where your intuition has room to speak.

Mindfulness shifts your focus from the external (what others think or expect) to the internal (what feels right for you). Over time, this practice strengthens the connection between your mind and your gut, making it easier to trust your inner compass.

Setting Personal Boundaries

Boundaries might not seem directly related to trusting yourself, but they’re vital. When you don’t set clear boundaries, it’s easy to let others’ opinions or needs dictate your choices. This not only leads to resentment but also erodes your confidence in your own judgment.

Think of boundaries as the guardrails that protect your decision-making process. Without them, every outside influence has the potential to push you off course.

Practice saying “no” to things that feel wrong, even if it’s uncomfortable at first. This could mean declining a party invite when you’re drained or not letting a friend guilt you into taking their advice. Every time you honor a boundary, you’re telling yourself, I trust you to know what’s best for me.

Embracing Mistakes as Learning Opportunities

Fearing mistakes is one of the biggest roadblocks to trusting yourself. It’s easy to think, What if I make the wrong choice? But here’s the truth: mistakes aren’t failures—they’re teachers. They reveal what works, what doesn’t, and what you value most. Shifting your mindset on mistakes can profoundly impact how much you trust yourself.

Imagine you’re learning to ride a bike. Falling a few times isn’t proof that you’ll never learn—it’s part of figuring out how to balance. Decision-making works the same way. The more you allow yourself to stumble, the more you’ll understand what keeps you steady.

The goal isn’t to avoid mistakes altogether—no one does. It’s to remind yourself that you’re capable of handling what comes next. Over time, this approach builds the confidence to trust yourself, even when things don’t go as planned.

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By focusing on mindfulness, setting boundaries, and embracing mistakes, you’re giving yourself tools to build self-trust step by step. Remember, it won’t all click in a day—this is a process. But with each small, deliberate choice you make, you’re creating stronger foundations for trusting yourself, no matter how daunting the options in front of you may feel.

Overcoming Doubts and Fears

When you're facing endless choices, it's easy for doubts and fears to creep in and hijack your confidence. You start questioning every decision, worrying about outcomes, and wondering if you're capable of choosing the “right” path. Sound familiar? The good news is, overcoming these feelings isn’t about silencing them completely—it’s about understanding where they come from and learning how to move past them.

Recognizing Doubts

Doubt tends to pop up when you're making decisions that feel important, uncertain, or both. It’s helpful to pause and ask yourself, Where is this doubt coming from? Identifying the source can help you address it instead of letting it run the show. Here are some common sources of doubt, especially when it comes to decision-making:

• Fear of failure: You might be afraid of making the “wrong” choice and facing disappointment later.
• Overthinking outcomes: Your brain runs through every possible scenario, and instead of clarity, you’re left with a cluttered mind.
• Lack of past success: If you’ve struggled with decisions before, doubts may stem from worrying you’ll repeat the same mistakes.
• External expectations: Other people’s opinions—real or imagined—can make you second-guess yourself.

Doubt tricks you into focusing on everything that could go wrong. It creates mental roadblocks that turn a single decision into an overwhelming puzzle. By recognizing these patterns, you can begin to shift your mindset and remind yourself that doubt isn’t a sign you’re incapable—it’s just a signal to slow down and reassess.

Strategies for Overcoming Fear

Fear shows up as a gut-level reaction: what if this choice backfires? But fear doesn’t have to stop you from moving forward. With the right strategies, you can confront that fear head-on and work through it. Here are some actionable tips to help you manage fears around decision-making:

1. Question the fear’s validity.
   Not every fear is rooted in fact. When fear arises, ask yourself, Is this true, or is my mind jumping to conclusions? For instance, thinking, If I make this decision, I’ll ruin everything is unlikely to be true. Pushing back on those extreme thoughts can give you clearer perspective.

2. Practice self-compassion.
   Be kind to yourself if fear gets in the way. Rather than thinking, Why am I like this?, remind yourself that fear is normal. Acknowledging it with compassion helps you soften its impact, so it doesn’t feel as all-consuming.

3. Use time to your advantage.
   If your fear feels overwhelming, step back and put a timer on it. Give yourself a set amount of time to think about the decision—whether it’s 10 minutes or 24 hours—and then commit to taking action. This approach gives fear space to exist without letting it linger indefinitely.

4. Visualize the best-case scenario.
   Fear often focuses on worst-case outcomes, but what if things go right? Take a moment to picture what happens if your decision leads to great results. This isn’t about wishful thinking—it’s about balancing the narrative in your mind. You’re just as capable of success as you are of failure.

5. Embrace a “good enough” choice.
   Not every decision needs to be perfect to be worthwhile. If fear is keeping you stuck, remind yourself that choosing something—even if it feels imperfect—is better than staying paralyzed. Perfection isn’t the goal; progress is.

Fear wants to protect you, but often it overreacts. Learning to manage it doesn’t mean eliminating it completely—it means trusting yourself to take action, even when fear is in the background. Just like building a muscle, facing fears gets easier with practice. Each time you push through it, you remind yourself that you can.

Remember, doubt and missteps are part of the journey. Every choice, even imperfect ones, teaches you something valuable. The more you lean into your unique way of thinking and honor what feels right for you, the stronger your self-trust grows.

Try focusing on one small decision today. Let it be an opportunity to listen to yourself without overanalyzing. Each step forward matters, no matter how big or small. Trust starts with showing up for yourself, one choice at a time.